Thank you

I would like to thank all of my colleagues that I have had the privilege of working with this semester. I have learned many things about each of you and I have learned some things about myself too. I appreciate the support and collaboration that I have had with each of you. I wish you all luck on your future classes.

Team Building and Collaboration

I guess one group that I would consider hard to leave was my graduating class in High School. Though I had some rough times in High School, I look back and think fondly of many of the memories. I consider this a group and even to some extent a team development because of all of the different challenges we faced as a group. My senior class has some particular struggles because of some scandalous information that came about our senior year. Our class faced these challenges and actually became more united as a result of them. We even lost our class adviser because of some information that came to the surface and we were all devastated by this.

Like any Senior Class in High School, my class had rituals. We went on a Senior Trip, everyone had senior parties and of course we had Graduation as a final farewell. I think my Senior Class was one of the hardest groups to leave because It wasn't just saying goodbye to a group of people, it was also completely ending a chapter in my life and beginning a new one. Leaving my coworkers at one job to start a new job produced similar feelings to those that I experienced finishing High School, but they were different because the amount of time that had elapsed was different and therefore my feelings were strong, but not so emotionally invested as they had been with my classmates.  I think saying goodbye to my Colleagues after this Master's Degree program will be somewhat similar to saying goodbye to my High School classmates, but it will also be different.

My eyes have really been open to a whole new viewpoint of working as a group and team development. I have gained a lot of insight and I have a new perspective about it. I reflected on different groups of people that I worked with throughout my life. I think if nothing else, it has given me an appreciation for working in a group. The Five Stages of Team Development are something that I will always keep in the back of my mind when working in a group.

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

• Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict? I have recently been having some squabbles with  a friend of mine. He is actually an ex-boyfriend who I have stayed very close friends with. We had some communication issues before we broke up and we have been working on solving these issues. Though we are closer to where we need to be, we are not quite there yet. Our two biggest issues is I don't like to open up for fear of rejection and he has a short temper. Sometimes we will be trying to communicate and my lack of wanting to open up will upset him and make him lose his temper, making me shut down and retreat even more, which then makes him more upset and he starts yelling, calling me names and get volatile. One of our most recent disagreements is the fact that he always wants to talk on the phone and I don't like talking on the phone. Sometimes I feel trapped when we are talking on the phone because that is when he gets upset with me. I would rather talk in person or text message each other. One strategy for me would be to possibly compromise and agree to talk on the phone, but maybe I could agree to do this and then if things escalate to a place where I am not comfortable, I can tell him we need to get off the phone and if he does not listen then I will just hang up the phone. The other strategy I would consider trying would be for us to possibly write things down before we come to each other to talk about them. Sometimes I literally need to visual and see what I want to say before I can actually say it to another person. I also think this would help because he and I tend to interrupt one another a lot. We have both acknowledged that this is a problem, but we have not really been able to figure out how to solve it yet. I think implementing the principles or nonviolent communication or the 3 r's would definitely help our situation. I specifically think the 3 r's could help us and would help.
  
• Also, if appropriate, ask your colleagues for their input and advice regarding, if not specific problems, how they have learned to be more effective communicators as it relates to conflict resolution skills. I would be more than happy to hear any advice offered by colleagues. One of the more important lessons I've learned so far in this class is the fact that everyone communicates differently. I've also learned that our experiences certainly effect how we communicate. As a result of this, I realize the importance of making compromises to communicate more effectively.

Who am I as a Communicator?

This course has truly been one of self-reflection for me. I think everyone wants to believe that they are excellent communicators, but in reality each an every person has an area of communication that could use a little work. I have re-evaluated how I communicate and ways that I can be doing it better.

I used to always believe that I was a decent communicator and that if I had an issue I was able to confront people about it. Growing up I felt confident saying how I felt and approaching other people. My parents often discouraged this in me. They also led me to believe, through their behavior and words, that the things had to say were not important. So, to some extent I just stopped speaking altogether, since clearly it did not matter. Due to a relationship that became somewhat verbally abusive, where I was on the receiving end, I believe that this greatly affect how I communicate. I have become less comfortable communicating with others and I have become anxious about talking to people because I am afraid to upset people.

The older I have gotten, written forms of communication are the primary form of communication that I feel the most comfortable using. Sometimes leaving a note, or sending and an email or letter are easier for me to sort out my thoughts and I feel more comfortable communicating through that.

A friend of mine pointed out to me that I 'bottle everything up inside' and I need to learn to talk. I tried explaining to him my fears of talking and he told me that I needed to get over and let things go. Though I agree with him to an extent, this is much much easier said than done. You cannot just 'let things go' always. Some hurt takes a very long time to heal.

The two things that I have learned this week are:

1. I need to work on becoming more confident in my communication. It is not healthy for me to always be a good listener, but never have other people pay attention to me. 

2. Sometimes, in communication, compromises are necessary. I may not feel comfortable communicating in person, but other people may need to communicate that way. So, somehow we would need to come to an agreement about how to best communicate to meet each others needs.

Communicating with People from Different Cultures and People Groups

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures? I feel like there are certain times that I do communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures.
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?Some of this I think is because of Cultural Myopia and some of it I think is just a natural part of communicating. I find that sometimes language barriers create differences in how I communicate with different people groups and cultures.  In the discussion board for this week, I explained the details of a story that I experienced where communication was difficult: " There have been times in my life where I have been less sensitive than I should have been to immigrants who have moved here that do not speak English. I had an attitude that, they came here so they should learn English. In time, I have come to understand that it is not right of me to have this attitude. Another thing that I have struggled with is other differences in culture. I worked at an hourly drop off service in a medical building for a few years. There were times when, not only would the language barrier cause difficulties, but so would the behavior of the children. There is a specific time that I remember where a mother and her sister were dropping off three children. The mother spoke very little English and the little boy, who was four, tried to help translate for us, but he was a little bit confused as well. The women left and I engaged the child and tried to play with him. The little boy was a little bit apprehensive at first, but as his time in my care progressed, he became very aggressive. He called me the B word and kicked me. I used what I know about early childhood development to try to gently correct his behavior and he spit in my face. It got to the point where I finally needed to locate the mother because the situation was getting out of hand and causing issues for the other children in my care. When the mother returned she would not look the little boy in the eye and did not say anything to me. The liaison who helped the mother that day and was actually a translated for her stopped later that day to discuss the situation. She explained to me that culturally the men, even the youngest of men, are dominant over women, which is why he kept calling me the B word and his mother would not look him in the eye. She told me that next time if I needed help she could assist me.  I was trying to be helpful and understanding, but this particular situation caused a lot of frustration for me. I do not set unrealistic expectations for children, but respect is one that I do have." I learned a lot from this experience and it has helped improve my communication with different people groups since then.I have learned ways to become more understanding toward others and also to adapt communication.

3 Strategies

1. One strategy that I would use to improve my communication with people from different groups and cultures would be to implement The Platinum Rule. Imagining what it must feel like to be the other person would be an effective way to increase my understanding and sensitivity toward them.
2. Find different ways to communicate other than verbal. There may be times when written communication may be more suitable than verbal communication.
3. My third strategy for improving my communication would be to think back to past experiences with the same issue. I need to let my experiences...negative and positive, make me a better person.

Communication Observed from Television

Show: The Big Bang Theory

Viewing of show with sound turned off: I do not regularly watch this show and I have only caught a little bit of an episode here or there while others were watching it. The title of show does not give away what it is about either. I noticed while watching it without the sound on that a couple of the characters use a lot of facial expression. The part of the show I watched with no sound took place in what looks like a college. I was able to observe some other body language from the characters. Some hand gestures and such, but it was really hard to tell what was going on at all. I think the characters are friends or possibly coworkers.

Viewing of show with sound turned on: Watching the show with the sound on did help things make more sense. I was able to hear the tone of voice that went along with the facial expressions I was seeing and I was also able to hear what they were saying to each other. When I had the sound turned on I was also able to hear the laughter that is on some comedy shows when something funny is said or done on the show. I think my assumptions definitely would have been more accurate if I had been watching a show I usually watch. I know the characters in the shows I watch and I am familiar with them. I also know what to expect. With these characters, it was difficult for me to follow some of it, partly because I am unfamiliar with it, partly because it is not a show that particularly interests me.

Reflection: It was interesting to me the difference that having the sound on and off had. I gained some information watching with the sound off, but turning the sound on certainly gave me a clearer understanding of what was going on. I do not watch a lot of television, but when I do watch television I typically watch reality shows, murder mystery shows or home and garden type shows. I was not able tell what the show was going to be able. I could see the characters interacting with one another, but it did not tell me a lot about how they communicate until I turned the sound on. With the sound on I was able to figure out what was going on much easier. This was an interesting assignment to me. After completing the assignment, it made me pay closer attention to the characters in the shows I do watch to see how they communicate.

Great Communicator

My father is a good communicator in public settings but on a personal level he has never been good at communicating with my family.

My dad is a doctor, so it is necessary for him to communicate with different individuals on a daily basis. I know that publicly he is very professional and uses good eye contact when he is speaking. When I was younger, rules in the medical field were different and at various times, I was allowed to do rounds with my dad when he would see patients who are in the hospital. I would watch him and the way he interacted with different people. I think my dad does a good job communicating on a professional level.

In my home there was a lack of communication. My parents would talk but not really communicate. Over time my mother just took care of everything, including my dad. It got to the point where they just wouldn't really communicate at all and my dad seemed to think everything was fine, but my mom was struggling. She has overcome this with time, but I think sometimes it still bothers her. I remember a few times growing up when I would try to say something to my dad or tell him about something and my dad would say, "Shh I'm trying to watch this." or he would simply turn the television up so he could not hear me.

Reflecting on this situation is interesting. I think one reason why I struggle with communicating with others in my life now is because in some ways I lacked  a model of what this should look like. I have had a hard time opening up to people. For me it has always been a matter of, if I just keep quiet and don't talk about it and let things go, then I can keep people happy. This has been proven wrong many times over, but it is still difficult for me. I have a fear of talking to people because I feel as though if I upset them, then they won't want me anymore. I also found this reflection about how my dad communicates interesting because I have not put much though into it before, but it is curious to think that people would communicate differently in different situations. In a professional setting he is a good active listener and he communicates well, but I always felt like at home it was a different story.