This course has truly been one of self-reflection for me. I think everyone wants to believe that they are excellent communicators, but in reality each an every person has an area of communication that could use a little work. I have re-evaluated how I communicate and ways that I can be doing it better.
I used to always believe that I was a decent communicator and that if I had an issue I was able to confront people about it. Growing up I felt confident saying how I felt and approaching other people. My parents often discouraged this in me. They also led me to believe, through their behavior and words, that the things had to say were not important. So, to some extent I just stopped speaking altogether, since clearly it did not matter. Due to a relationship that became somewhat verbally abusive, where I was on the receiving end, I believe that this greatly affect how I communicate. I have become less comfortable communicating with others and I have become anxious about talking to people because I am afraid to upset people.
The older I have gotten, written forms of communication are the primary form of communication that I feel the most comfortable using. Sometimes leaving a note, or sending and an email or letter are easier for me to sort out my thoughts and I feel more comfortable communicating through that.
A friend of mine pointed out to me that I 'bottle everything up inside' and I need to learn to talk. I tried explaining to him my fears of talking and he told me that I needed to get over and let things go. Though I agree with him to an extent, this is much much easier said than done. You cannot just 'let things go' always. Some hurt takes a very long time to heal.
The two things that I have learned this week are:
1. I need to work on becoming more confident in my communication. It is not healthy for me to always be a good listener, but never have other people pay attention to me.
2. Sometimes, in communication, compromises are necessary. I may not feel comfortable communicating in person, but other people may need to communicate that way. So, somehow we would need to come to an agreement about how to best communicate to meet each others needs.
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteWe all are learning so much regarding communication. I, also, have area that must be improved on through communication. I, too, must build my confidence level in communicating with others. Good post. and continued good luck on your communication endeavors.
Hello Amy! I too have many areas that I need improvement in with regards to communications. I learned this week that my communications with my daughter have not been that pleasant. This was very convicting for me.
ReplyDeleteI too was very uncomfortable with verbally communicating with others. one day my Pastor asked for me to read the weekly announcements at church and it really helped me to overcome the fear of communicating with others. Maybe you can practice communicating in front of your family members or in small group settings amongst your colleagues to assist with this fear. I understand ho communicating in writing is more comfortable but I don't think that this form of communication will assist a person to understanding and knowing exactly the message that you are sending. Thanks for sharing!
Cotati
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI like your self reflection of yourself. Honesty with ourselves is more important than being honest with others. I recall,speak your mind if you want to get your point across. As we've learned that's not effective communication with others. Sometimes we need not to speak our minds and at that point we will find ourselves being better at our communicating with others. Thank you for sharing.
Brenda
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteYour blog this week was very inspiring. I'm really glad that I'm not a person that is in denial because this week assignment has truly been an eye opener for me. I like the fact that you recognize that everyone can use some work on communication. I found that the way I have been communicating has not always been effective. This assignment has helped me realize that being outspoken is not always good. I'm really looking forward to the changes that I will be making regarding my communication skills. Thanks for sharing